I Got My First D (And I'm Not Sure How to Feel About It)

For the first time, I got a D in my life. Well, technically, it's not the first. I've gotten a D when I was in 3rd or 4th grade, but I've never gotten one again after I was pushed into the South Korean education system, where education and titles matter, where people go to after-school sessions to study high school material starting in middle school. And honestly, I am not sure what I should feel about this grade.

I decided to not really care about grades this semester, because what I realized after coming to college is that everything is bullshit and people know it's bullshit but they just live with it. I know this because I genuinely thought college is a place where only people who care to pursue higher education would come (yes, I was very naive), and I took 21 credits my first semester as a freshman, taking the hardest classes possible. All of my seniors warned me not to do it, but I thought what point is there to take classes if I were to just take the easiest ones, get a 4.0, and go do some boring-ass IB work.

But, to my disappointment, the classes were boring and were only designed to line people up and send them to pursue further bullshit through MBAs or get consulting or IB jobs that nobody would give a shit about. I am not saying that these professions do not mean anything, but I've seen too many people go into these industries not because they are interested in the work but for the sole monetary purposes.

The Search for Something Real

So, I've decided to look for exciting opportunities off campus after seeing how people my age drop out of school, move to SF, and build something extraordinary. Now, I am one of those conservatives that still has this South Korean mindset that school is still of importance, and I could not shake this feeling of not doing something right, probably because I was stuck in the system for too long.

What's ironic, however, is the class I got a D in is an entrepreneurship class that was designed to teach me how to build a great product, and I say it is ironic because the reason I skipped classes and decided to just pursue off-campus opportunities such as attending a YC interview in person or flying to SF to talk to a founder that I admire is because it failed at what it's supposed to do. Instead of building a real product or learning about how to build an extraordinary venture, I was forced to do some bullshit team projects that nobody really gives a shit about and attend weekly meetings where everyone is just trying to avoid doing the boring tasks.

I do not want to blame the professor (who by the way never built a meaningful venture), as I do not think entrepreneurship is something that can be taught in school. This is more of a personal remorse that I, deep down, still cared about getting an A and meeting the standards of this bullshit system.

The Road Not Taken (Yet)

This felt more significant because I just had a chance to join Founders Inc, which I visited last summer and was just profoundly shocked by the grit and the talent it attracted. As young as elementary school kids to college students, they seemed to be growing much, much faster than I was in college trying to just complete assignments that I and most people did not give a shit about. I was informed of the opportunity on a very short deadline, and the program start date coincided with the school start date. I lowkey wanted to drop out on the spot or hit pause for a bit, but the fact that I would be diverging from a traditional path lowkey made me feel a bit nervous, and I could not make a decision in such a short period of time.

Moving Forward

So, this is more like a rant and a reflection of my confusion in terms of getting a D and wanting to not give a shit about it. I hope this year I have the courage to care more about things that would really be meaningful toward my growth and not give a shit about something that is just plain bullshit. I am starting with landing an internship at a VC firm. I am at the final stage of talking with one that has recently been established, and I expect I would gain so much more out of it than watching YouTube in a class.